If there was one thing that 2013 crystalized for me, it was that I can be OK even if everything else isn’t. And you can, too.

Feeling is better than not (feeling); and channeling the ocean is how it works.

1. Ebb and flow. Even if it feels unnatural at first. Visualize the ocean every time you want to yell or the muscles in your neck start to tense. Know that whatever is getting under your skin/thrilling you/tempting/totally maddening/making your heart melt…will change.

2. Forgive. For yourself. Keep a soft front (heart) and strong back. (Thank you, Colleen, for that one.)

3. Allow outright JOY …that it’s snowing big fluff balls and not too cold and you’re running and playing in a wonderland with your kids and dog and you have to pinch yourself because you forgot how much fun it was to play outside. Without a purpose. (That’s play.)

4. Laugh so hard your stomach and the corners of your mouth hurt. And you might have wet your pants but your pelvic floor is so strong thanks to yoga and your knowledge of mula bandha that you don’t (which brings in gratitude).

5. It’s a fact. Making note of the things that we’re thankful for, no matter the size, does lift your spirits. And get you out of pity parties (which I’ve been known to delve into from time to time). And if it’s easier to make your list on your phone — no judgement here whatsoever — there are two faves for me: Grateful160 and happier. And did I mention how grateful I am for you?

6. Know that there’s also the pit in the stomach fear, deep sadness and loss. This year my friend Peter died…within six months of his diagnosis. But his life and death reminds me, too, that we can all walk with God. That there is real truth to the adage that we don’t lie on our deathbed wishing we spent more time at the office (or in front of our computer). And that it’s never too late to say/show/be love and grace.

Because grace and divinity is within you. And even the people who are cranky and not so nice. It’s within us all, working out the kinks, presenting in different forms.

Like the ocean.

So, feel. All of it. So you can find the way to your center.

Love. Your lifeyum. Your life. Your yum.

mindfulness + nature + movement
soul food + whole foods + play
freedom + realness + rip-roaring laughter

And my Lifeyum formulas:

doing nothing + drinking wine + dancing
breathe + pray + cry
make art + cleanse + love

Feeling it. Being with it. Tasting, holding, sharing, engulfing, releasing. Feeling good means that we have to feel. Everything. And like the ocean, what we feel will change. Especially if we focus on being guided by how we want to feel (good).

Staying with that thought:

2012: The Feel Good Guide I’ve always been a proponent of feeling good and doing good, but Danielle LaPorte’s approach gives me a filter for goal-setting, planning, and LIVING that is natural and happy. So I started jotting down what makes me feel good and traced those things/experiences to feelings. Here are some of mine: Connected. Content. Motivated. Strong. Turned on, free, creative, inspiring, powerful and affluent for good, relaxed (not worried), and clear. Loved and in love.

 

2011: Being Lighter in 2012 The real magnificence of Eloise for me was her lightness in being, her precociousness, and how she just flowed from adventure to adventure — often in her mind. So while as a wife and mother of six young children it’s not realistic to go completely Eloise in 2012, I’m going to trend more in her direction as much as possible. 

∞

And my fun, low key, feel good New Year’s picks…free or nearly so.

1. Join a Desire Map book club, coming to your town or online all across the globe in January. Last year I wrote about Danielle LaPorte’s latest as the antidote to empty, no-fun, pressure-filled goal setting. Feeling good is the goal. If you’re in New York’s capital region (or you’re willing to drive or join in virtually), our first meeting is Tuesday, January 7 (the global kick-off). Sign up by clicking the link below:

2. Amazeballs herself Therese Schwenkler (aka White Oprah) brings us The Year of Enough. It’s free, motivating without adding any pressure. In Therese’s words: Is it the newfound sense of confidence? The spring in your step that comes from an internal sense of security and worth? The weightlessness of leaving expectations, “shoulds,” and the need to prove in the dust? Whatever it is, one thing’s for certain: 2014 is the year in which you’ll thrive. This is the year you’ll realize that you, Sweet Honey Child, have always had, done, and been – enough. {Sign up HERE.}

3. Connect with some friends who you feel good with. Laugh, cry, yoga, drink wine, play, hug, love. Rest.

Above all, know that you are loved. Born to be loved.

Always.